Posted September 27, 2010on:
I said goodbye to the Mommy room at work today. It was a hard thing to do. The whole day has been that way becuase I’m saying goodbye to breastfeeding. Goodbye to that special bond that comes at the beginning of a child’s life. Goodbye to the few moments of the day where it’s just about me and him. My supply has plummeted and Li’l T is so mobile that he doesn’t care about nursing anymore. Last week I convinced myself that I would pump so he could at least have some breastmilk everyday until he went to cow’s milk at a year. It doesn’t look like it’s going to work out that way. I am tired. And yet there is a part of me that feels defeated. Like I’m giving up and not fighting the good fight. Not being a good mommy. Part of me that wants to keep pumping multiple times a day, and popping lots of pills, no matter how little milk results. But I am tired. Maybe we can nurse at night. Maybe I’ll just pump at night. Maybe not. It really is time to say goodbye and I am sad.